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[27 Mar 2007|09:59pm] |
ha ha ha ha
i just recived this breif moment
of the storm, it is just breathing in,
inhaling its anhilatiting sigh
are you gonna blow my house down mr storm
no no no
its made of blood bricks
and microfibers that hold tighter than a mother and a child
really i couldnt think that these dollar signs you wave
and the spit thats in my face
or the crash courses i have reluctantly taken
could really stop me
i did not
i just thought i was going to die out there,
from toxic shock syndrome
paralyzed by inadaquate verbage and stamina
my heart palpitaitons would only let me slither
but im fine
well i never really am, i have learned to tailor a coat that is fine
and wearable is my heart tearing off my sleeve
excuse me for my obsession with cliche
you see i always drfit from it, only then clutch it so close to me
you see i am sentimental like that
i really didnt expect to write that
but i like it
its kind of where im headed right now
life was really good and of course i got knocked of the horse
sure the horse might of galloped away but i think i am just going to hail a taxi
speaking of which i am leaving for new york easter saturday
what else
oh i still love to paint and take pictures, i am very confused at what the people surrounding me want out of me, and interactions with the human race are.... i really cant find the right words
i think tommorow night might be good
MR SHS, phony male beauty pagents...yessssssssss i hope ethan wears a dress
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| gut me, its been a month or two |
[15 Mar 2007|09:30pm] |
i realize i am a runner
not really in the literal sense
but in the emotional sense too
sometimes its actually physical too
its mildly appaling, and people may think its irrational
but really i think now that i see it i know i wont do it as often
and i will actually find a way to see that running is sometimes nessicary
oh believe me i fight
but so many times i run
oh god i run
so i lost my camera bfore chicago
if i live there thats all i will be taking pictures of though
im tired of flower pictures (aka nature photo)
but somtimes im so damn unispired
thinking of paintings and drawings come so horribly easy to me
but then i have no chance at executing them
i realize i also need sleep, but refuse to give myself it
i have a tenative list for a good by mix
its got Elliott smith, of montreal, the cure, bowie, ratat, billie, rufus wainright, the violent femmes, ben kweller, belle and sebastian, sufjan stevens, janis, the pixies, bright eyes, xiu xiu, and new order
its hard to make a going away mix really
i think this might be just the end of year mix / clousure mix
i dont like that im clam now
why cant this happen during the crisis
ps:i am fairly proud of myself in some areas when i look back
it feels good
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[11 Feb 2007|12:52am] |
wow so update
formal was very nice
dinner before was incedibly fun
and even though my date fainted earlier that day she was a very good sport
i really dont know how to answer people when they say what have i been up to
track is starting back up and its not really the same
i feel a lot faster though, lets hope i can hold it
i cant help but love the situation i am in
i mean i can wish a lot of things
i can wish that i could sketch better or deveolp some more interesting style
i can wish that retro paradise hired me
i can wish that everyones going to like me
i can wish that the plans i make will hold
but their really just really up to chance
i mean if they dont happen its not going to hurt me really
guess why
because i know its going to end well
if you continue to be good and true then good things will happen to you
ha its like a saying from moms
no its not exactly like that
its more like the divine connection of the cosmos will balance us all someday
we just have to love it
your purpose will be served
ps:I GOT INTO SAINT JOHNS
IN NEW FREAKING YORK
queens to be exact
and to top that off they are willing to pay 10,000 a year just because of academic records
im still going to find more scholarships too
shit mang
we got 2 cool schools in to cool cities
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| yeah i know no body says anything to these |
[15 Jan 2007|03:45pm] |
but i have had some rough patches, and i have felt akward for most of this month
some days i have artistic breakthroughs
somedays i write like shit
i really need to work on my work ethic
that statment i have just found
is the most cyclical hilarious and disgusting thing i have said for a while
im frightened of not being there
of being in the wrong places
im frightened i dont get to hear why something happened
i dont know
i feel like my mouth has recently gotten me in trouble
i used to be so nice
now i say things that i feel that could be overly mean
and it comes back on me
i guess when i speak i should keep in mind my philosophy that my view of a human should remain dynamic
and im get unbearably sad when i know someone is lying to me
then i realize i lie so much sometimes
i wish someone would tell me what the fuck was wrong
this inst directed at one person, actually there are a few people like this
i sometimes am one of them
if we didnt have any senses sadly earth would remain existing without us to enjoy it
i dont know why i said that
i just talked about it last night with my friend nick
i want some one to say something about this
please give me some sort of feedback
ps:
chicago visit
february
around the 19th
shit man
i hear that city does wonders
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[03 Jan 2007|09:02pm] |
wow
this year
so wonderful
honestly i have never had so many good days strung together
i love this whole situation
i am think i am going to do a new photo project
on my own
im going to take portraits of santa cruz
yes
notify me if you would like to participate
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[22 Dec 2006|04:02pm] |
ahhh so good
and bad
i made some cash off my trippy bowls
having fun
going back and forth with my family
yeahaslk;sd;lkjdfl;kjsdlkj;sd;lkjjsdl;kjsdf
christams season
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[10 Dec 2006|06:52pm] |
so do you want the short version of my weekend
( Read more... )
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[07 Dec 2006|04:34pm] |
starting tomnmorow at 1 o clock pm
none of you will be able to talk to me
i am going on (a) retreat
its not really running away from my problems
its finding out what causes them
a little known fact about patrick gill is that he is a youth group leader at his church
he is going to be on a church retreat until sunday
hopefully he will returned fulfiled
or at least with some modifications ( like a death ray eye)
let hope i dont fall off the cliffs
i love you all
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| i really feel the need to see shortbus |
[04 Dec 2006|12:02am] |
i need to buy christmas gifts
for many people
and work on homework
and shit i just saw the clock
i need sleep
my mess is catching me i think
im going to a church retreat next/this weekend
prepare to miss me for a weekend
maybe we will hang out durning the week
maybe if you help me shop
or survive
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[26 Nov 2006|10:00am] |
im still deciding whether or not this weekend has been good
i mean i did get my dream car totaled
and graanted the closest thing i got a vacation was fresno
i honestly think this was a pretty great break
i love the people i know, and i know a lot of people
i have a lot of plans ahead of me now
i think i will enjoy wrtitng a paper on the simplicty of piet mondrians paintings
i am in such an akward state right now
but its teetering on good
i really need to see certain people
but dont i always say that
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[19 Nov 2006|11:15pm] |
grosss barbgin hunters,
if you wish to contact us
we will pick up are cell phones
but i dont know how good the reception is on mars
somethings are hitting me in the face
and i feel like i am punching someone in the gut
but they have already cut me
wow
you would think pacifist wouldnt resort to such a battle
JEFF AND TERESA ARE HOME THIS WEEK
i need to see my sister more than ever
you know i think age has taught me to love her
and jeff
jeff
i am so badly looking forward to seeing you finally smile
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[19 Nov 2006|04:51pm] |
if you let it
the jungle with crush you
you will be destroyed
from the inside out
and you will leave
a hollowed eyed man
,gaunt buddha,
reclined in lotus position on the rythum of the
sea
heart of darkness fucks with you brain man
i just want to know why the hell my teacher said parts of it were mysoginistic
anyways
thanksgiving is coming
then christmas shopping
i feel like visiting people a lot more
i like my periodic trips to the valley every once and a while
but i feel like i miss a few people in particular
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[12 Nov 2006|12:06pm] |
its over
i have been around (watching it and running in it)cross country for 10 years
thats more than half of my life
and you know what
i smile lokking back on it
i wish people were easy to figure out
i well
i guess then we would have no fun in the world now would we
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[08 Nov 2006|08:28pm] |
ha ha
i found a better picture
this is me blonde
and realizing i hate lipstick
on halloween
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[08 Nov 2006|02:29pm] |
this is just one picture of the transylvanians
yeah
i wish i had more
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[05 Nov 2006|10:31am] |
im very sad rocky horror is over
this means no more weekly trips to the valley
no more thick eastern european accent
no more running into the ben lomond market trying to find dinner or trying to hide that you are not wearing that much clothing
no more yelling at actors
no more singing or dancing the timewarp
and the people
oh god the people
the people in rocky horror have been nothing but nice to me since day one
and i hope to still see all of them
i hope we get two weekends at the rio theather
it has been heavily talked about
and everyone wants to
but we have to work some things out to do it right
on another note
i dont know if i like having someone on my mind
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[02 Nov 2006|08:28pm] |
we made it to CCS
yep
the team that almost didnt have a coach
the team that almost didnt have enough runners
the team that no one ever hears about
so what if we were fourth in leauge
when you have around 11 people
both genders
out for your sport
and you have 7 of them make it to CCS
its nearly incredible
i just needed to celebrate
i have the SAT II in LIT on saturday
shit meng
this a perfect high to some of my lows this week
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[01 Nov 2006|03:22pm] |
i feel like i am alinating people
and that my life is tossing
and turning
and that i can keep track of who i am or who i am with
and what may be going on
tommorow is leauge finals
next week is ccs if we move on
we are a fiesty small team
and my ass is on the line
i am the battle axe
i have been around
to hell and back on that team
i am going to run well
no matter what life is handing me that day
or any other day
halloween just passed
i feel almost like i missed it
i feel like having costume days
oh by the way
im blonde
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[29 Oct 2006|11:06pm] |
some moments are still mildly hazey in my mind right now
but i will be working them out with individuals in a timely fashion
i realized this week is leauge finals
tommorow you should expect a change
no seriously
if something hasnt thrown you off you should wait until tommorow night
if i already havent forced it on you
THE ROCKY HORROR SHOW IS IN BEN LOMOND AT PARK HALL
RIGHT NEXT TO BEN LOMOND MARKET
IT PLAYS ON HALLOWEEN
AND NOV 3 AND 4
AT 8 PM
GET YOUR TICKETS AT STREETLIGHT
WE HAVE BEEN HAVING PACKED HOUSES FOR EVERY PREFORMANCE
AND IT FEELS INCREDIBLE
come see me make an ass of myself
in eyeliner and a vest
i wonder what would have happened if i were a theater kid
no
life has too much drama
the stage has nothing on the world
i took my halloween costume in a new direction
its now my dream ship and i am going to be frozen in my non existant/still being played out childhood
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[26 Oct 2006|01:53pm] |
ha
after the post about stressing over colleges
i check my email the next day
i got into SF State
thats why i applied early
1 down, 9 to go
my sister said that i have to go to SF State
because she is moving up there next year
to do physical therapy type things
and she wants to have friends in the city
holy shit that would be crazy
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